How quickly would I be able to get seen in A&E if I smashed my head against the wall? And would I get seen any quicker if I explained it was due to reading through Labour's health plan which they pushed out today? I'd give it a go but I fear the waiting rooms of hospitals across the country are full of NHS staff who have had the same reaction to Wes Streeting's grand plan.

Given my recent experience of A&E I'd say that it would take me 40 minutes. I have blood tests every fortnight, a nurse visits me every other Friday, and when I go to see my GP my appointments usually last at least 20 minutes. All of my prescriptions are free and, as a special treat, every two weeks I get chemotherapy and immunotherapy dripped into my veins while I sit and eat Mini Cheddars.

As someone with incurable bowel cancer staying alive has become my second job. And I know I'm one of the lucky ones because the healthcare I receive is much better than most.

But, because I spend so long in hospitals, I know that I'm one of the exceptions to the rule.

Most people can be stuck on waiting lists for years, they have to do the 8am scramble for appointments, and have to drive for miles to see their specialist.

So, in theory, I should welcome Labour's 10 Year Health Plan. But it's difficult for me to be excited about something which is being touted as "fit for the future" when it is being put forward by a Government which isn't fit for purpose.

Like a child who's showing off his new toys to his friends at school after Christmas, the idea Wes Streeting seems to be most proud of in the strategy is the idea of shifting care from hospitals to community health centres.

Apparently this is a "radical" plan. It's so radical that it already happens.

When I was diagnosed with cancer back in the summer of 2023 it happened in one of these community health centres. I had an appointment with a clinical nurse specialist and met the surgeon who would be operating on me. I then went to the pharmacy.

The community health centre I went to was a little hospital, with no inpatient beds, and this is all the health centres will be.

I say will be even though health centres and medical centres do already exist up and down the country.

Wes Streeting says the NHS must change "dramatically" but this is difficult to do if he doesn’t already know what is in existence.

As has been the case since Keir and his cronies came into power, Wes is obsessed with the idea of technological advancements but doesn't realise how far behind the NHS is from where it should be.

He seems to want AI involved in every aspect of healthcare but the nurses who look after me just want printers that don't jam.

He wants medical teams and patients to be able to communicate through an NHS app. The doctors who care for me just want computers that don't crash.

And they also want air conditioning that works properly so big machines like those used in radiotherapy don't conk out when the next heatwave comes.

The strategy also repeats the idea from the Government's earlier urgent and emergency care strategy for “mental health emergency departments”.

This is seemingly instead of making sure that A&E departments are safe places for everyone to be treated. And also seemingly forgetting that if someone is in a state of mental health crisis and has tried to kill themselves then there is a high chance that they will need some treatment for their physical injuries.

With my GP appointments usually taking over 20 minutes it is good to see that the Government is taking steps to ensure other people can get one too.

Well, Wes is talking the talk but he definitely isn't walking the walk.

The plan mentions training many more GPs but, I'm told, lots of GP trainees coming out of their training schemes this summer are facing unemployment because the Government won't give the NHS funds so they can have jobs.

So, what is the point in crowing over an increase in GP trainees if they will never actually get to see patients?

A less sick man than me would argue that this is the Labour Government in a nutshell - people voted for change but they got incompetence.