I’m not sure which was the more definitive noise coming from the Labour front bench as Parliament returned from its Easter break this week – the sounds of clucking and flapping as chickens came home to roost, or the screech of tyres on Tarmac as U-turns were hastily executed. There was certainly a smell of burnt rubber in the air, so probably the latter. I’m talking (of course) about all the smart repositioning going on as oh-so-recent adherents to the principle that trans women are women hastily reset their compasses.

After six days of total silence on the subject following the Supreme Court ruling that to be a woman you have to be born a woman – i.e. with the XX chromosome that no amount of surgical intervention can alter – Sir Keir Starmer finally gave us his considered opinion. (It ought to have been considered as he’d had nearly a week to work it out). The Prime Minister dropped his previously held view that trans women are women. “A woman is an adult female, and the court has made that absolutely clear.”

So, no equivocation – but no apology either. Those women who were way ahead of the judges’ ruling last week were not slow to pile in on the PM. Writer JK Rowling was one of the first on Twitter. “Imagine,” she wrote, “being such a coward you can only muster the courage to tell the truth once the Supreme Court has ruled on what the truth is.” Ouch.

Kemi Badenoch, in what many agreed was her best performance in the Commons since becoming Tory leader, twisted the knife further. Showing a hitherto undisclosed relish for ruthlessness, she reminded Sir Keir of some of his previous statements on transgender matters. Such as saying it was “not right” to say only women have a cervix, and (perhaps even more bizarrely) that “99.9% of women don’t have a penis,” which could only mean that one in a thousand do.

Mrs Badenoch didn’t spare Sir Keir’s colleagues, either, pointing at the front bench opposite as she reminded them that “foolish politicians cheered” as “something as simple as biological reality was denied and politicised.” Double-ouch. As the writer and journalist Hadley Freeman pointed out this week, the whole transgender debate over recent years was: “A test. Some passed. A lot more failed.”

Starmer certainly deserves to wear the dunce’s cap. But an apology to the brave women who spoke the simple truth and were insulted, harassed, and lost their jobs might just shorten the period he has to wear it. A little.

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The British public’s rejection of Prince Andrew seems set in stone, their antipathy fixed and remorseless. Nothing he says or does is apparently acceptable to them. Six days ago he showed up at the Royal Family’s annual Easter Sunday service at Windsor Castle.

It was his first public appearance in a year, but it sparked a flurry of hostile headlines and straightforward abuse online. A snap poll for ITV showed fully 75% of viewers think Andrew should stay out of sight, permanently. Even the briefest glimpse of him hob-nobbing with his family obviously enrages many.

Is there any way back for the late Queen’s favourite son? If he were to rescue a child from the path of a runaway horse, he’d probably be accused of animal cruelty.

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I don’t know about you, but my childhood was dotted with household chores. Do the dishes. Make your bed. Help put the shopping away. For my younger brother, washing the car was a Sunday ritual.

And there was a definite sense that our pocket money was linked to completing such menial tasks. But that was then.

This week, a survey by Halfords found that many parents think asking their kids to help out around the house amounts to child cruelty. Not making the bed? You couldn’t make it up...