Name: The gen Z work uniform.

Age: It started post-pandemic, so nearly two years old.

Appearance: Formal and unchanging.

People still wear uniforms? Yes, of course. Retail workers, train drivers, schoolkids, prisoners. There’s nothing new about a uniform.

But this is a gen Z thing? Yes. Gen Z office workers specifically.

But you can wear anything you like to the office these days. Sure, you can. But you’re old, so nobody thinks twice if you rock up in a tatty pair of jeans and a manky old sweater.

That hurts. So what is the gen Z uniform? It’s something smart and simple, plus it never changes.

Why not? Well, for one thing, wearing the same thing to work reduces decision fatigue.

Hold on, this isn’t new. Isn’t it what Steve Jobs did? Yes, exactly. He wore a black turtleneck and jeans to work every day, as eliminating that choice freed up enough brain space to help him invent the iPod. Elizabeth Holmes did it, too, wearing the same uniform as Jobs, to free up enough brain space to con people out of millions of dollars.

Who else? Barack Obama was a big advocate, only ever wearing dark blue or grey suits. And it really showed when he slipped up. Remember when he went to work in a tan suit one day? That was easily the worst thing any American president has done in living memory.

I don’t read the news, so I have no reason to disagree with that statement. Now it makes sense that gen Z are doing it too. Maybe they’ll wear a shirt to work every day, or the same dark blazer, so they don’t get overwhelmed by choice.

Is that the only reason? Well, there’s also the statistic, reported by Fortune, that six out of 10 employers admitted to firing gen Z workers within months of their starting, with inappropriate dress cited as a key reason.

So everyone is dressing conservatively to keep their jobs. Yes, consistently and conservatively. Don’t want to get the sack because you accidentally came in wearing a pair of marginally flamboyant trousers, do you?

This is starting to sound quite dystopian. No, it’s great! It’s not just because I want to look as anonymous as possible so my boss will never remember me. Can’t fire someone if it’s impossible to remember what they look like, can you?

Are you OK? Why are you asking? Oh no, did I let some personality slip out? Personality is a memorable trait. Please don’t sack me! I need to eat!

Do say: “Gen Z likes to wear a uniform to work.”

Don’t say: “Going to the office? How retro.”