54 min Zirkzee’s supplier was young Toby Collyer, bombing forward and nodding the ball down to him. He seems to be playing as a No 8 with Mainoo (also on a yellow) as the sole pivot. Brave, minister, very brave.

53 min Hang on! Out of nowhere Zirkzee has a shot, drawing a fine save from Alisson.

52 min United are struggling to get out of their own half.

50 min Mazraoui comes back on. Meanwhile Dalot takes a throw-in on the left and finds Zirkzee, whose attempted lay-off to Rashford goes straight out of play.

48 min Harry Maguire and Jonny Evans go for a warm-up. If Mazraoui does have to go off, presumably one of these two will join De Ligt in the middle, Dalot will go to right-back, and Martinez (who is on a yellow) will move out to the left.

46 min Liverpool get forward yet again, though nothing comes of it. There’s another lull as Mazraoui goes down in a worrying way. And United don’t have a full-back on the bench…

Casemiro taken off!

On a more serious note… “There was an audible rendition of ‘The S*n was right, you’re murderers’ after Liverpool scored,” says Stephen Carr. “This vile behaviour needs to be called out.” I missed that but if you’re right, it certainly does.

United actually played quite well for half an hour. But they’ve had only two shots and if I remember right both came from their right-back, Noussair Mazraoui. Matthijs de Ligt has been good on his full debut, but not good enough – and the first goal, like Brighton’s winner last weekend (also on De Ligt’s watch), came when United had somehow forgotten to put anyone on the far post.

“We must be in with a decent chance.” says Gary Naylor, “of hearing ‘Sacked in the morning’ this afternoon, sung to the beautiful melody of the fine rebel song, Guantanamera. Given that taking delight in the misfortunes of one’s rivals is a key aspect of fandom (do the Germans have a word for it?), is that the most harmless way to do so? Managers know they’re never that far from the door, most get a payoff that a Stretford End season ticket holder wouldn’t earn in a lifetime and some, like Vincent Kompany, fall upwards or get pretty good gigs at other clubs or in the media. Sure it’s mean-spirited, but you’ll let us have it won’t you?” Ha.

“I suspect that Slot might be given the benefit of the doubt by the Liverpool faithful,” says Stephen Berkery. “A slight change in tactics, and Gravenberch suddenly looks like a superstar… A change of manager sees a squad player become a prime mover.”

United’s predicament is meat and drink to Roy Keane. “Same old problems,” he says briskly. “Leopards and spots.”

There was too much happening in that half for me to open the mail, sorry. But here’s one from Mary Waltz. “Tim, greetings from California. Is Ten Hag under pressure already? Of course he is.

“Schizophrenic management puts every United manager close to the chopping block the day he signs his contract. All City players, whether they like it or not, know Pep runs the show and they better accept that. Ditto Liverpool under Klopp. Every MU player with a contract knows Ten Hag will eventually get tossed out the castle window.”

HALF-TIME! United 0-2 Liverpool

45+4 min Casemiro spots redemption as he tries to chip a through ball to Garnacho, but it’s too far ahead of him.

45+3 min Diaz, sniffing a perfect hat-trick, runs at Mazraoui, who sees him out for a goal kick.

45+2 min A third booking for United as Mainoo brings down Gravenberch. Silk on silk.

45+1 min A while ago a caption told us that Casemiro had given the ball away ten times in this match. And that was before the second goal.

45 min There will be another five minutes, which seems a bit 2023.

GOAL! United 0-2 Liverpool (Diaz 42)

40 min Martinez clatters someone and goes into the book. “That’s just daft,” says Jamie Carragher.

39 min Half-chance for United! It’s that man Mazraoui again, hitting the ball better this time but straight at Alisson.

38 min “The United players look a little bit dejected,” says Neville. “Go and get your second goal now.”

37 min You can see why United have spent £42m on Manuel Ugarte.

The goal sprang from a shocker of a pass by Casemiro. Under no pressure.

GOAL! Man United 0-1 Liverpool (Diaz 35)

33 min At the corner Virgil van Dijk was trying to get in André Onana’s way, in the style of Ben White. He’s too good for that.

32 min The corner, taken short, is a dud. United break and Mazraoui, of all people, has a shot, but he can’t get any power on it.

31 min Liverpool win a corner on the right. “They’ve got on top,” Gary Neville says, “the last seven or eight minutes.”

30 min As the half-hour comes up, De Ligt wins his first big roar with a vital tackle. And then another. He looks like a no-fuss centre-back.

28 min After a couple more United giveaways, Casemiro does better with a through ball, a chip aimed at Rashford. Alisson comes out to head it away.

26 min There was a yellow card just now, for Zirkzee I think. A more likely candidate would have been Casemiro, who is struggling with the pace of the game.