Wearing high heels in summer never worked. We must have been mad! Pretty much everything that is lovely about summer is incompatible with wearing heels. Being outside in the garden or the park, where the grass is soft underfoot! Delightful, but hopeless if you have to balance on tiptoes to stop your heels from sinking into the ground. Walking instead of getting the bus, because it’s so nice out! A seasonal treat, but only in comfy shoes. Summer weddings that start at 3pm and go on until the small hours! The absolute best, but murder with blisters. The beach! OK, we weren’t ever sufficiently insane to wear heels on sand or pebbles. Still, you get my drift.

I haven’t sworn off heels for good, by the way. I think there was a time when lockdown broke my habit, but in the end I missed them. So when autumn comes around, I will relish pulling on my heeled boots for the first time. Come party season, I will hold fast to my belief that a really good night out starts with a shoe that gives a rush of visual pleasure and makes no concessions to being remotely sensible. But for the next couple of months, I have a strict flats-only policy.

What’s that? What about wedges, you ask? For some people, these represent the perfect compromise: they are steady on uneven ground, and comfortable to wear because your weight is fairly evenly distributed. But, look, can I be honest? They are just not very elegant. They make your feet enormous, which knocks your whole silhouette off balance, like wearing a comedy hat. They are also a bit of a weird shape, because that’s what happens when you try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

No. There is a flat shoe for every summer occasion, and there is an art to matching the shoe to the look. Not all flats are created equal: some elevate, and some don’t. Because we are so accustomed to seeing heels as the glamorous option and flats as the practical alternative, we tend to lump all flats in together, and fail to notice that there is a world of difference between styles and shapes – both in the vibe they bring to an outfit and how they affect your silhouette.

Bare and strappy looks casual, while enclosed is more formal – think of the contrast between a Birkenstock and a loafer. A minimal flat sandal can be fabulous for a summer party, but it needs to be elegant – good-quality leather with a nice pedicure reads very differently from plastic flip-flops and gnarly toes. If the toe is enclosed, the shape matters: a round toe is cute and girlish; an almond toe is more sophisticated. A flat shoe that has a sturdier construction and covers the top of your foot will read as masculine (a brogue, a loafer), while one that is flimsier and more cutaway gives femininity (a ballet pump).

I like to think of myself as open-minded, but we all have our red lines, and one of mine is an ankle strap on a flat shoe. This cuts across your leg at the wrong place (visually, I mean; otherwise you’ve got it done up too tight, which is another matter entirely). This is not about your legs looking fat or short or whatever – we’re not having that conversation any more, remember – it is just about what looks pleasing to the eye. If there is a Mary Jane-style strap across the top of your foot, then this will look best if it’s closer to the toe than to the heel.

Snazzy embellishments that might look gaudy on a high heel look brilliant on a flat, because a flat shoe needs to show some ambition. It can take detail or colour, shine or eyelets. An element of elevation, if you like. What it boils down to, really, is this: flat shoes don’t have to be basic. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that the choice is between dressing up nice – in heels – and “just” wearing flats. When, in fact, the only sensible way to do summer is no heel, but all glamour. This is the season to be flat-out fabulous.

Model: Amaka at Milk. Hair and makeup: Sophie Higginson using Ouai and Dr Sam’s. Dress, £79, Nobody’s Child. Necklace, £142, Ottoman Hands. Bag, £36, River Island. Pumps, £59.99, Zara